TO TRANSFORM

   Luck is mine, I was born in November. As a Scorpio, change comes as naturally to me as the unconscious beating of my heart. This is a blog. This is a blog about change. Today I changed my attitude, tomorrow I will change something else. Change is easy for me but commitment outside of my marriage is not. Love is the only thing that I can give myself to complete, or at least that was true until today. I am embarking on a journey today, tomorrow, the rest of my life. Part natural, part spiritual, part body, part imaginary. Either way I have left my troubled mind one step behind me and I don't want to see it again.

   I am a sucker for quick fixes. It's my talent. I am good at cutting corners, getting things done quickly and efficiently. I have come to understand that there is no quick fix to things like: laziness, mindlessness, run-away-emotions, health, and spirituality. Trust me, I have tried and failed for a long time. Today I calmed down, and talked with myself about why these things can't be fixed, or changed rather, quickly. Those are parts of you that grow. Like a plant; plenty of water and sunshine and someday you will have flowers, or berries or something.

   I challenge myself to be perfect, naturally. My own standards, my own way, my choices, my successes and my failures. No corners cut, or speed walking through it.

  Some things I am doing now:

1.) Meditation - I was going to get a book or watch a tape, but then I started thinking about how every practice such as meditation, was just invented by somebody who was kind of smart and inventive. I am smart and inventive, so I should be able to figure this out on my own. Meditation, as I feel it should be done.

2.) Practice Pain - Pain through physicality. Sweating is key. Endurance is important. Tears are magic.

3.) Write - Journals, personal essays, short stories and poems. Whatever my mind brings me I have to get it out before it slips away.

4.) Love - Just love. Practice it, live it, worship it, be it. Love.